Romance, like sales, is a persuasive process. Sales is persuasion for money. Romance is persuasion for love.
From a male perspective, the romantic process usually proceeds as follows: guy meets gal and develops feelings for her; consequently, he sets out to have her fall in love with him; his ultimate aim being that they end up together. For how long depends.
This togetherness might be of the boyfriend/girlfriend variety, the husband/wife variety or something less long term.
Romance is not for the fainthearted. It can be tough stuff. Think about romance in the context of its persuasive cousin, sales. Many people do not go into sales because they believe they're not good verbal communicators. Still more individuals avoid sales because they do not feel comfortable being "pushy." [Good sales people are not pushy, but let's leave that for another article.]
More than anything else, the majority of individuals do not go into sales - or stay in the selling profession- because they cannot deal with the frequent rejection the sales process typically engenders.
If you think about what guys have to go through in the romantic process, it seems an awful lot like sales. The difference being that in romance, the man is both the product and the salesperson for the product. Frankly, in 2010, the same could be said of women.
Historically, men have been the pursuers and women the pursued. Men had to focus more on their persuasive abilities and less on their personal aesthetics. Women did not pursue men overtly for the most part, yet they certainly spent lots of time making themselves as appealing as possible. Today, these roles of pursuer and pursued have become somewhat blurred, perhaps more so among younger people.
Anyway, what is it like to be a guy attempting to gain the affections of a woman? Well, first -and now more than ever before- there is the inevitable aesthetic treatment of self. In the looks obsessed world we live in, men competing for the interest of a woman cannot afford to ignore how they look. Does this mean every man must attempt to make himself into George Clooney or Brad Pitt? No, not at all. And hey, it wouldn't work anyway.
However, guys would be well advised to present themselves physically to their best advantage. What does this mean? First, good hygiene is a non-negotiable imperative. Do you really think a woman will fall head over heels for a guy who smells like a glob of rotting gorgonzola cheese?
Second, the man should attempt to be as close to his ideal weight as possible. This does not mean he must convert himself into an Adonis. His hair should be neat and/or well styled and his clothes should convey something positive and congruent about his personality.
Assuming a guy has his look squared away, he then must focus on the process of persuasion as it applies to a woman. What does this mean? What are women really attracted to? How does a man effectively romance a woman in 2010? Find out next week.
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