The other day I'm having a rambling conversation with a friend. You know, those talks where you start on one topic only to find yourself blabbing about something completely different; the kind of chat where one minute you're discussing a movie and the next you're debating what brand of hotdog has the more robust flavor.
Anyway, we're jabbering on. I say something and my friend begins to respond with, "In reality ..." Before he can finish his sentence I am interrupting him. "In reality," I repeat with mock indignation. "In reality!" What on earth does "in reality" mean? "Whose reality?" I demand, half-jokingly.
And this is how otherwise meaningless gabfests can make us think about something we don't often pay attention to, but should.
In English -as in most languages- we rely on idiomatic phrases to express something we want to say without going on and on. The word "whatever" comes to mind, though in reality I don't know why.
Decades ago, if you heard the word "whatever" used, it was almost always in a sentence. A person would say something like, "I am willing to do whatever it takes to win the game." As years passed, "whatever" took on a standalone quality.
I think it began in Los Angeles's San Fernando Valley. Purportedly, Valley girls in shopping malls began answering questions with "whatever" intoned in a snappy, two-tone, sing-song. The resultant pronunciation was "what (emphasize the "t" sound) - ever (draw out the "er"). The movie "Clueless" immortalized this use of the word and an idiom was born.
As if that were not enough, the Internet came shining in and those of us who got into texting looked for ways of abbreviating words. Eventually, the word "whatever" was reduced to "whatevs." At least that is what some of the Web cognoscenti say.
I am dubious because, in reality, "whatevs" is only one letter shorter than "whatever." In any event, "whatevs" entered the English lexicon as an idiomatic way of saying, "I am relatively indifferent to that which you are proposing or the general sentiment of what you are saying".
Now, to quote Eminem, "Snap back to reality". What does the phrase, "in reality" mean? It's probably easiest to understand with an example.
If we're watching a movie based on an actual event and a scene is fictionalized, we might say, "In reality, the scene where the person ate 75 pumpkins in six minutes was inaccurate. That is because he actually only ate half a pumpkin and it took him 8 minutes".
So the term, "in reality" allows us to make a differentiation between what has actually happened or is happening and a characterization of those events which distorts the facts. But therein lies the rub. The human experience comes with so many versions of reality that when we say "in reality" what do we, in reality, mean.
Again, an example will probably yield the best explanation. After the financial crisis began, around the beginning of autumn 2008, newspaper articles in the U.S. started trumpeting how people were tightening their pocketbooks after their investments took a drubbing.
I remember one article in particular blathering on about how thrifty shoppers in Manhattan, in New York City, were looking for the best buys on wine. At the time, I commented to someone, "In reality, if you want to conserve limited resources, why buy wine at all?" Obviously, the reality of those wine shoppers and my reality were not synonymous.
When we use the phrase "in reality" we mostly do so out of reflex. It sheds light on our worldview, on our perception of how things are. But, of course, our view is not definitive as to how things actually are or should be. And so, in reality, the idiomatic expression "in reality" points out that we are giving our opinion about reality rather than reality itself- at least a lot of the time.
And if someone does not agree with our assessment of reality, we are always free to respond with, "whatever." Or, in reality, we could simply say, "whatevs".
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